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The trouble with dreams

I had a dream one night that I had taken a fall Spinning as I plummeted Out of control I fell from a mountain From way up so high
From then on my friends
I was sure I would die.

As I fell
 The mists parted
The green land below
Rushing towards me
Barreling, rolling
Brief glimpses of earth
Not soft and inviting
 But harshly defining
Quite fatal and instant
I raged and I cursed

I closed my eyes

Emotions ran wild

Laughing inevitably
Crying with fear
Knowing my adrenaline
Could not help me get clear
Running is futile when you cant reach the ground
Fighting the air would have been stupid
It's not even there



Now I'm not an eagle
No wings to catch drafts
No grace in my flight
As I rocketed down
All hope was floundering

What of a haystack
Or a large mountain loch
A soft woodland canopy
A pool owned by a family
A mattress so soft?


The seconds seemed longer
Like minutes my friend
Slow-mo
In trauma
Is common I hear

The height of the mountain was Scottish
Not manjaro
I thought that by now

Is all hope lost?

They tear at me
Ripping and shredding
Bloodlines appear
The ragged nail pattern
Blood lines come to me
To tear at the remnants of my fastbeating heart

I am not perfection
Nor conceited in my thinking
That I ever have been
I've made mistakes
Said wrong things
In stupid places
Tried to help
But was mainly just a conveyance

Love can't be forced
But hate can leave all hope lost
Emotional turmoil
Tears  fall
Tears fall

It does not matter how loudly I call
They cannot hear me
Have no reasons to find the truth
Of  this mans life
Hanging by a slender efficient knife
Opened veins drain me out
Silently sleeping
Silently sleeping

The fear is mine alone
If I blink I might be gone
I search and search but there is no trace
Of what I've thought on things before
I once was happy
Singing always
I once had laughter
Tears now blind me
I once felt that it was possible
Now that feeling has surely gone


Perceptions gained of lifes experience
May allow different pondering
But time slips past and …

Fight for your life.

The soft sand ridden muddy path
Under my feet
Is cushioned for me by sturdy black boots

Sloppy, slick slimy navigating as every part of my leg plays a part in keeping me upright
Sinews twist, the cramping ageing muscles uncomfortably held in kilter

Heading for home
Light retreats
The ever arriving daily dusk clocks in
I can't see the car quite yet.

This place takes me away
But only for a short time
Drudgery
Routine
Work
Though enjoyable
Wears at one
Through time, burdened by the worries of others
Chinks appear, cracks of darkness on a golden life

Wandering, watching  twigs may snap
Wind blown pine trees sing in high pitched terror
Birds dart
Rabbits unseen?
But for borrows
Buzzards soar
A red kite adorned a fence post
Squirrels elusive
Watching
Just in case
I might see one race by
Even the periphery of either eye

A busy head is a safe head?

Freedom from worries
Eating and gnawing
Snatching at anything that will offset these thoughts
Let the wind carry me
I could be
Searching for c…

She Glides.

She glides

She minds
If someone does her wrong
She cares
With all of motherly heart of hearts
She loves
Enjoyment, passions shared
She cries
When injustice is offered as punishment
By country's near and far
She will live
We hope
Until she is bent and old
She is happy
When things start going her way
She is funny
Intelligent In an unusual way ☺
Her worry
Causes bumps sometimes
Nervous
In a crowded place.
Unsociable
She'd tell you herself
An hour
Then home to bed


He
Does not think like that
He prefers
To hang around
Still similar
In many ways
He will love her
Until the end of life
They share a home
Decades together
Kids moving on
In each others pocket
Time apart
Can mend a heart
Stress release
From occupational meetings
Tribulations in familial relations.



AGL
Image

Mother's day

Mother's day shopping caused me to wobble
In the shop
I walked out
As I trembled
No more buying two cards
Our mum has gone
Seeing her family
Beyond the clouds

I was surprised
But maybe I shouldn't be
It was only December
When angels came calling
Her failing health
Made her unable
To keep going in this life
In pain but kept stable
She died free of pain
The drugs they enabled
Comfort in life
As last breaths escaped her

Sleep well our wee mammy
I hope you are around us
Give our regards
To those who went before
My head fills with fleeting
Moments of sorrow
You loved us unquestioned
Put food on your table

Sleep well now the mother
Awake on a new day
You won't remember us
Now in a different place
Alive again
Sing with the angels.

AGL.

Folks.

Anxiety threatens security
Compounds the stress
Optimism demands you be positive
Outlook confounds dismay

Should we expect failure?


Love and laughter
Or tears and hate
Kindness follows you
If you give of yourself without looking for consequence
Receive in kind if luck prevails upon you
A truth of life
The Good of you honoured so
You realise more of your worth
When kindness favours you


Avoid the scumbags
They will drag you under
Out of breath
You cough and splutter
True to your self
The Air is clean
Oxygen
Not monoxide fumes.
Plagued by misery
Stuck in their own lives
Choking on the misfortune of others
They are sometimes victims
Of a life less fortunate

Adventurous
Or cautiously treading
Fearful of the world out side of windows
Most going by are truly honest

Wealth is determined
Not by cash

Abundance in caring
For everyone
Fills your wallet and your pockets
Helps the old cover a draught
Create a smile and a laugh
Not a tear in hungry bellies
A stressful existence
Expecting the worst …